Black men have strong feelings about black women, but we rarely hear one publicly get to the bottom line of what’s wrong, and right, with black women, and the impact that has on relationships.

On Saturday’s The Audrey Chapman Show four of them did. WOW! There were several times when the sparks were flying as the conversation explored the issue.

Dr. William July, II, author of several books on relationships – especially from a man’s perspective – was his usual warm, witty and wise self.

Audrey also had a panel of three local men: Rodney, Tony and Jason. Rodney and Tony are part of an online talkshow/community led by married men who connect regularly to discuss and work through significant, interpersonal issues. They are both married, and shared their thoughts about starting and maintaining relationships (Rodney’s wife is biracial, and Tony’s wife is Latina).

Audrey talks to panelists Tony (next to Audrey) and Rodney.

Tony said his wife was clear about her intentions, even pursuing him. Rodney talked about how the high number of fatherless homes plays a part in a woman’s thinking when dealing with men. He believes that if that initial relationship with a father is not healthy that will affect a woman as she enters relationships.

Jason is single (formerly married), has sworn off of African American women, and very opinionated. In fact, many callers took issue with Jason’s swearing off of his “sisters,” and he didn’t hesitate to mix it up with them.

Jason (bald), Tony (left, facing camera), and Rodney talk before the show.

Dr. July offered a great deal of food for thought, including:

*The African American experience has an impact on our relationships. The mental pain of that history is still with us, and we’re repeating a lot of actions based on that pain.

*On the need for respect: The African American male finds himself conditioned from an early age to feel as if he’s not going to be respected in the larger society, even in the community. In a relationship everything is intensified, so he will be even more sensitive to that fundamental need.

*You are always training people how to treat you. If there is a specific way you want to be treated in a relationship, don’t wait until three months into it to make that clear.

At one point Audrey had everyone laughing when she said, “In some cases people aren’t carrying baggage into relationships, but trunks!”

Want to put down your baggage? Keep tuning into the show.