Types of Seekers
With one type of seeker, there is always something wrong with the candidate for Mr. or Ms. Ideal. They complain of the person’s physical attributes, or lack thereof. The candidate is often lacking in intellect when, of course, the searcher is an intellectual marvel. The candidate lacks social status, or worse, social graces. All manner of shortcomings are identified and usually used as excuses not to enter into a committed relationship. Needless to say, these individuals are always complaining that they cannot find a person interested in commitment. When in fact it is they who suffer from…“Amour phobia.” Often when we are in conflict about involvement, the other person gets set up to be the uncompromising one.
The second type of endless searcher does enter into a series of “committed” relationship, while really constantly looking for Mr. or Ms. Ideal. They tend to look like losers or victims while they temporarily remain in “inappropriate” or unfulfilling relationships with mates who only rate a “5” when they know they deserve and will someday find a “10”.
Again, a variety of Randi’s grandest moments occur when she feels involved in an uncompromising relationship. She says:
“I often meet men who initially appear to be what I want. There are certain characteristics I seek in a mate. After dating a while it becomes clear they fall short. I then decide to go with the man in the hand until the ‘right’ one comes along. Realizing there is shortage of men in D.C. So I hang in there with an eye on the future.”
Many excuses are provided for this behavior, ranging from a fear of being alone to complain about the disproportionate distribution of males and females in the United States, to wanting freedom and space and no responsibility.
Here is the question:
If you’re over 35 and still single, do you think that it is because you are still looking for the “perfect” mate?
Post a comment below and let us know what you think.
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