Love Lesson 101
Here are some tips on how to accomplish this if you’ve been on that endless search:
- Develop ways to accept yourself by getting to know the real you. It might require identifying a close and honest friend with whom you can share your concerns and from whom you can get objective feedback. A professional colleague may also play this role.
- Explore groups for support, while you are on your soul search. Activities such as, singles workshops, male/female support groups and women or men’s personal growth group can be enlightening. You may also choose to seek a therapist to help you take a more introspective.
- Examine whether you may have fear of commitment and/or closeness issues. Often this syndrome can be identified by observing the lack of motivation one has identifying this impossible person. Usually there is “payoff” for setting up this goal, consciously or otherwise you fear finding someone.
- Explore the process and the criteria you use for selecting mates. Pay particular attention to the criteria for acceptance and rejection. Determine whether your measures or “yardstick” are unrealistic. You may be unconsciously rejecting many suitable partners before they even have an opportunity to prove themselves.
- Try finding people who will, first, be good companions, rather than insisting they meet all of the criteria at once. Romance may or may not follow, but by becoming friends first, or foremost, it is likely that you will be able to accept their personal limitations more readily.
If you can open yourself up to more possibilities and use fewer restrictive criteria in your expectations of others, you will probably be able to find a fulfilling relationship.